65: The Vacation You Didn't Know You Needed

Welcome back to Make More Love. In this show, we share real strategies that help high performing men build passionate intimate relationships and live fulfilling lives. I'm your host Ellen Dorian. I'm both a relationship coach and a business coach, so I know how to handle all the crap that comes up when you're working to be the best at everything. So let's get into it. This episode is a little shorter than usual because I'm on vacation in Lisbon this week. I hadn't planned this trip, but it was an opportunity I wasn't about to pass up. And honestly, I didn't realize how much I needed the break. Over the past couple of months, I've been running too hard. Too many expectations, too many disruptions and too much pushing to stick with my plans even when I knew I was already past capacity. In fact, you can hear in my voice, I'm a little under the weather right now and that's no surprise. The truth is, I forgot some important advice I emphasize with my clients. Don't wait until you're completely burned out to take a vacation. If you treat time off like a fire extinguisher for overwhelm, you'll always be operating in crisis mode. The best time to step away is before you hit that wall. Otherwise, your whole vacation will just be about decompressing and recovering from your exhaustion. Resilience is a big part of this. It's a core principle in my coaching model. Resilience takes intention, and that means planning in how you run your business, how you care for your body, and for how you show up in your relationship. But there's a dichotomy here because you also need to leave time, energy, and mental space for spontaneity. Now that's something that really shows in Lisbon's culture. As soon as I got here, I noticed the pace of life in Lisbon is just different. I'm right in the center of the city. People are busy, but not frantic the way city life in the states can be. There isn't the same tyranny of timekeeping that so many of us are used to. People don't do anything back to back here. They leave room for reflection and connection. Both planning and spontaneity are built into the Lisbon lifestyle. It's hot here, so people move a little slower. Meals are not rushed. You actually have to ask for the check or they'll just let you sit there all day. People take breaks during the afternoon and then they're out late into the night living the good life. Like the night we went to the Barrio Alto. It's the only thing we really had time to plan before we left. We started out on plan at this extraordinary wine bar called the Old Pharmacy Wine Inn for a tasting of Portuguese wine and port. And then on our way to our next planned stop, we got swept into a tiny bar by this like crazy charismatic guy who pulled us in for shots and salsa dancing. So we ended up doing a little of the plan and a little of the spontaneous and honestly, the plan stuff was fine, but it was sort of straight out of the guidebooks, but the spontaneous stuff felt much more authentic and it led to a more joyful experience. It's not that people here don't plan at all. They do. And here's a great example. I read about this in the newspaper, that there's an airport worker's strike that's coming up here from September through the New Year. Apparently, they are expected to give plenty of notice so people can adjust their holiday and business travel plans. That's structure, but it serves freedom and because of that structure, you can flow because you've already accounted for the big constraints. And that's a useful lesson. As business leaders, we tend to go to extremes, either over planning every minute or resisting time off completely because it feels unpredictable. But the real magic comes in balancing enough planning to make sure you cover the big hurdles and enough flexibility to let the unexpected and memorable things happen. A lot of business owners say they can't take a vacation because the business can't run without them. If your business can't run without you even temporarily, that's not something to ignore. It's an operations issue, a leadership issue, a relationship issue, and ultimately it's a freedom issue. This is one of those places where business and relationships intersect and that intersection is my sweet spot. So if this is sounding familiar to you, let's address it head on. Let's look together at how to design systems, delegate responsibilities, and set your team up for success with the clarity that they need so that you can take real time away. This is a strategic move for the long-term health of your business. If your business can't run without your constant supervision, it's not scalable because you can never grow beyond your own bandwidth. and it's definitely not sellable. If you ever wanna expand, exit, or just have a life outside of work, your business has to function without you making every single decision. Ultimately the goal is to live in a way where you don't have to choose between building your business and living your life. Your next step is to book a Relationship Reset Call. It's quick, it's private, it's free, and it's easy to schedule. Just go to relationshipresetcall.com And book a time with me. Being here in Lisbon has reminded me that running a successful business isn't about grinding through and controlling every detail. It's about cultivating resilience, enough structure to carry the weight of what matters most, and enough flexibility to make room for what's unexpected. That's often where the best opportunities lie. And that's what we mean when we talk about freedom in your work, in your energy, and in your life. It's a lesson that you should carry home and not just leave behind on vacation. That's it for me this week because I'm off practicing what I preach. I'll be back soon with fresh energy, and maybe a story or two. Alright. I hope today's episode got you thinking. But you know, we can only do so much in an open forum like this. If you want to look at your specific situation, book in a free Relationship Reset Call. We'll figure out the next best move and set you on a path to a better relationship for both you and your partner. You can just head over to relationshipresetcall.com and pick a time. You can also join our Passionate Partners Insider Community on Facebook. There's exclusive content and resources there. Or, visit our website or our social channels to learn more about our programs, workshops, and private coaching options. All the links to everything I mentioned plus my personal email are in the show notes. I'll be here whenever you're ready. Now I've got a quick request. I'd really appreciate your help spreading the word about Make More Love. First, if you haven't done it already, hit follow or subscribe on your favorite platform. It helps more people find the show and it also keeps you in the loop. Second, leaving a review would mean the world. It helps us grow our community and reach more people. And finally, if you know someone who is struggling in their relationship, then share the show with them. You might just change their life. Thank you so much for spreading the word. I believe Love is not something you find. You have to make it. And that's my mission. To help you Make More Love... With Your Wife and In Your Life. I'm Ellen Dorian and that's what I've got for you today.