💡 Part 1: The Hidden Key to Lifelong Love — Inclusive Purpose

Tired of relationship advice that sounds good but doesn’t actually help?

You’re not alone—and you’re not wrong. The truth is, most relationship advice fails because it only deals with surface problems. It’s like trying to fix a car without checking under the hood. That’s why I created the Make More Love Relationship Dynamics Quiz—to help couples quickly spot the real problem. It’s free, private, and takes less than 10 minutes. Try it now at MakeMoreLove.show/quiz.

But today, we’re diving deeper into the first core principle of lasting relationships:

Inclusive Purpose.

🤝 What Is Inclusive Purpose?

Inclusive purpose means your relationship has a clear direction—one that honors both of your values, goals, and desires. It doesn’t require you to want the same life. Instead, it’s about building a shared life that can hold space for both people.

When inclusive purpose is missing, you’ll feel:

• Pulled in opposite directions

• Frustrated by recurring misunderstandings

• Disconnected or even resentful over time

But when it’s present, couples can grow together while still remaining true to themselves.

🔁 The 3 Habits of Inclusive Purpose

Couples with strong relationships build inclusive purpose by practicing:

1. Harmony – Navigating shared and conflicting values

2. Unity – Building a shared future while respecting individuality

3. Clarity – Making agreements explicit and eliminating guesswork

Let’s break each one down.

🎼 1. Harmony: Respecting Differences in Values

Even if you and your partner value the same things, you may express them differently.

Real-life example:
My parents both valued caring for others. But:

• My dad showed it by giving his time.

• My mom showed it by giving gifts.

They clashed constantly—not because they didn’t share the value, but because they had very different ways of living it.

💡 Action step:
Sit down with your partner and explore the values you share. Then discuss how each of you tends to express those values in daily life—and how that might clash.

🧭 2. Unity: Moving Forward Together

Unity is about co-creating a future. You don’t have to want the exact same things, but you do need to agree on where the relationship is headed.

Example from my own marriage:
I’ve always dreamed of living abroad. My husband? Total homebody.
But we’ve found middle ground:

• Travel with photography (his passion)

• Short-term trips instead of relocation (my compromise)

💡 Action step:
What’s one area where your future visions differ? Brainstorm creative solutions together.

✍️ 3. Clarity: Stop Assuming, Start Agreeing

Clarity is the secret sauce in high-functioning relationships. It’s about explicit agreements—not vague promises.

Client story:

Sam told his wife he’d be home “between 10 and 11.”
He got in at 1 AM. She was furious.
He thought he gave a clear window.
She felt abandoned and disrespected.

This wasn’t about the hour—it was about trust and communication. A quick text could’ve prevented a blowout.

💡 Action step:
Pick one area where you’re relying on unspoken expectations. Talk it through and make it explicit.

🔓 The Freedom Paradox

Some people resist making clear agreements because they think it limits freedom.

But here’s the truth:

• Teenager freedom = No rules

• Grown-up freedom = Being trusted, consistent, and able to show up fully

When you operate with inclusive purpose, you don’t have to guess what matters. You can just be yourself—and still feel totally aligned with your partner.

🛠️ 3 Quick Tools to Build Inclusive Purpose

1. Check-in agreements – If plans change, send a quick update. One sentence = zero stress.

2. Language cleanup – “Probably home by 10” means different things to different people. Be specific.

3. Code of honor – Define what reliability, autonomy, and care mean in your relationship.

🧠 What We Learned

Inclusive purpose isn’t about sacrificing who you are—it’s about creating a container where both of you can thrive.
It’s how you avoid resentment, build trust, and grow together, not apart.

Ready to get aligned with your partner?

🎯 Book your free Relationship Reset Call at relationshipresetcall.com. In just 20 minutes, we’ll uncover what’s missing and create a personalized next step to strengthen your connection.

🧭 And don’t forget:

Love isn’t something you find. It’s something you make.
Let’s make more of it—on purpose.

🔁 Part of a Series: “Your Relationship OS”

This blog is based on Episode 58 of the Make More Love podcast.
Stay tuned for Part 2 (Intentional Presence) and Part 3 (Intrinsic Passion).

Featured image by Ketut Subiyanto