Unlocking the Secret to Enjoying Your Partner (It’s Not What You Think)

Ever caught yourself wondering, “When did we stop having fun together?” You’re not alone.
For many high-achieving couples, fun slowly slips down the priority list—squeezed out by work deadlines, family demands, and the constant grind of “just getting through the day.”

Here’s the truth: enjoying each other isn’t a luxury—it’s the fuel that keeps intimacy and connection alive. And if you wait until “everything else is handled” before you prioritize fun, you may be waiting forever.

💡 Affinity: The Overlooked Ingredient in Lasting Love

Enjoyment isn’t just about big vacations or perfectly planned date nights—it’s about affinity. That spark that makes you want to be around each other. The kind of comfort and laughter you can share even when you’re just sitting on the couch, doing nothing.

If you can’t remember the last time you did something purely for fun, don’t panic. It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed—it just means it’s been on autopilot for too long.

🍰 The “Save the Best for Last” Trap

I used to save my favorite bite of food for the very end of my meal… only to be too full to enjoy it. That same mentality creeps into our relationships—we save pleasure for “later.”

But later often becomes never. And before you know it, the moments that made your relationship exciting have been postponed into oblivion.

🔄 The Shift: Pleasure First, Not Last

Instead of treating fun like a reward you “earn” after everything else is done, make it a priority. Just like you schedule meetings or pay bills, carve out time for joy with your partner.

And the easiest way to do it? Tap into your inner child.

🧸 Childhood Memories = Connection Gold

Think back to your favorite summer moments: running through sprinklers, building blanket forts, water balloon fights, silly movie marathons. These aren’t just nostalgic—they’re powerful ways to reconnect.

Your mission:
Plan a ridiculous, kid-inspired date just for the two of you. Not for the family. Not for the kids. For you.

Need inspiration? Try:

• Running through sprinklers in the backyard

• Building a fort out of blankets and boxes

• Finger painting together

• Watching a cheesy monster movie and doing voice-overs

• Dressing up in silly outfits for dinner

The goal isn’t romance—it’s connection. And when connection grows, passion follows.

🌱 Bids for Connection: The Little Things That Matter

If your relationship feels strained, start small. Think of something your partner loved as a child—a favorite candy, toy, or TV show—and surprise them with it.

Here’s the twist: don’t call it out. Don’t say, “See what I did?” Just leave it there for them to find. You’re creating a breadcrumb trail back to joy.

It’s surprisingly hard to stay upset with someone who’s bringing out your inner child.

📌 Takeaways

1. Stop saving the best for last. Sometimes you should eat dessert first—and make time for fun now.

2. Play is powerful. Childhood-inspired joy breaks down walls faster than serious conversations.

3. Small gestures matter most. Consistent little acts of connection create big changes over time.

Your relationship isn’t going to magically reignite itself—it’s an investment. And sometimes the smartest investment is a little ridiculous, a little spontaneous, and a whole lot of fun.

Want to find out where your relationship needs the most love?
📊 Take the free Relationship Dynamics Scorecard at makemoreloveshow.com/quiz and get an action plan to bring joy (and passion) back into your life together.

Because love isn’t found—it’s made. And made better when you’re laughing together.

Featured image by Roxy Svydovetska